Married for 4 years, have been together for 8 and you know, things really evolve. We, as individuals, evolved; our family size grew; our place of living has changed a few times; all in 8 years.

That morning, Liam and Jon surprised me with tulips and pink roses. Jon took me to the Ringside Fish House that I thought was a casual place, hence my very casual outfit that was a bit out of place there. The movie plan was scrapped to instead hang out at the Governer’s Park followed by more drinks and pies at Savoy Tavern. In fact, the pies led us to its source at Random Order that you MUST check out.

It was fun to reminisce about what took place in our lives—what took us to Portland, where we’ve been, who we’ve met, that sort of thing. Despite the issues, which are mostly about clashing personalities and preferences and unmet expectations, we still have fun though not as often as we did before Liam.

And you know, as we sipped wine with the sun setting on dry Portland (we got lucky that night), we couldn’t help but feel grateful that we are still together. I’m still with the man I married. We are aware of who we truly are as individuals and that we are making it work all the time. It’s not always fun and I’m going to be straight that we’ve had some truly sad days while asking ourselves what the hell we’ve been doing. You just have to be honest about what you truly want and what can make you happy. It also takes plenty of growing up to accept that your wants and needs can be put in the back burner for maybe a while. Sometimes a long while. And we wake up the next day or two, refreshed by a fun activity with Liam or from watching a TV show we both like or laughed at a joke we both thought was funny, and then it’s not so bad. Life is good again, it has always been good. It isn’t easy to see it that way all the time though. But, we are aware how fragile things can get and how much self-analysis is involved when things go bad.

What I also realized was that the longer I’m married and the older I get, love is too grand for words. It’s very encompassing, it’s evolving and it’s transcending. You can define it something today, and define it another tomorrow. I also learned so much in the past 8 years. Of course I changed. Life calls you for it. Some parts of my personality got heightened because I now live a different life. It’s true that you will not know someone until you lived with them, but it also applies to knowing yourself.