Not That, Silly Goose!

It had been 15 months before we took the trek to Jon’s dad...

rollcallbyliam — Fri, 29 Mar 2013 20:37:00 -0700

It had been 15 months before we took the trek to Jon’s dad in Clarkston, WA. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in the fall last year and while it took a few months before we made the trip happen, we felt it was time to see him again. The disease is progressing rapidly it seems and it was important to see him before he starts to not recognize us.

It was sad to see him and at times we weren’t sure if we were spending enough time with him. And if we were, there was the question of whether a easting in restaurants was far too much for him to bear. The first day we visited him was the saddest for me during the trip. He lost weight and aged a few more years since we saw him last. It must be hard for him because he was such an independent person during his prime years. Assisted living seems to be the best for him, but at times I wonder if having too much time alone makes him forget more.

We’d like to visit him again this year, hopefully soon, with all that’ll go on with summer coming. It was great seeing him again.

We got too busy after the last entry and it hasn’t truly...

rollcallbyliam — Sun, 09 Dec 2012 16:45:00 -0800

We got too busy after the last entry and it hasn’t truly let up just yet. We’d be off to another busy time if we get the house we made an offer to (got accepted!). If all goes well with inspection and appraisal, we’d be living in the Woodstock neighborhood that’s 20 blocks east of Reed College (where Steve Jobs attended and dropped out). I just had to say that! :)

We spent some time driving around the neighborhood, checking out shops, parks and Woodstock elementary. The house is about the same size as our old one in NZ, a little over 1000 sqft, with adequate yard space. I’m trying to minimize envisioning a personalized version of that house, just in case the whole thing falls through. I really hope that we get it because it does tick all of our boxes and has a good feel to it.

It’s a bit funny, and maybe even telling, that this time 2 years ago we were in the process of selling our NZ house and 2 years prior when we bought it. Maybe we do things in 2-year cycles. I hope this time around we really settle in for a while, especially with Liam entering primary school next year. It has been mobile but in a good way.

It was great to see a childhood friend after almost 22 years. It...

rollcallbyliam — Fri, 06 Jul 2012 10:21:00 -0700

It was great to see a childhood friend after almost 22 years. It was funny to talk about the past and have different perspectives on things, mainly because I’m 6 years older. In kid years, that’s worlds apart. Maybe that’s selective memory but I couldn’t remember some of the things we talked about. It brought me back to my childhood and how the world seemed so vast back then. Their family migrated to USA and as a child, I took it for what it was but also felt a shift in my limited social life (back when social life revolved around a block or two of neighborhood kids, apart from kids at school who lived in different areas of the city). Who knew we’d see each other again and that the world isn’t really so large after all.

I had to remember what she was like as a little girl to maybe establish a connection with whom I had yet to meet. Seeing the lady she has become and still notice some demeanor I was familiar with, it continually astounds me how much of our personality as adults is predicated by our childhood. I wonder the same for myself. But you know how there’s a level of comfort seeing someone from your childhood and also feel excitement/anxiety at the same time? Liam wanted them to stay for the weekend. I had fun and it was great re-connecting on a perfect sunny day.

I took a class in photography, nothing fancy, just the basics on...

rollcallbyliam — Thu, 28 Jun 2012 21:29:00 -0700

I took a class in photography, nothing fancy, just the basics on using an expensive point-and-shoot. I learned about using the manual mode and I haven’t gone back to automatic since. By the end of it, I was so pleased and thanked Jon for enrolling me. They taught us about aperture, shutter speed, metering, ISO, focusing; and those are enough for me at this time. Though I knew what individually those were, I didn’t know how to blend them. Except for the last photo, all of them were shots using lessons learned (read: manual mode), and were not modified in any way.

Using flash is not my thing, but sometimes I use them, so these experimental shots all made use of natural light. I’ve always wanted to take photos that capture what my eyes could see. This is my first shot, pun intended.

Father’s Day isn’t over yet but we’ve had a...

rollcallbyliam — Sun, 17 Jun 2012 15:08:11 -0700

Father’s Day isn’t over yet but we’ve had a full day so far. We went on a short hike at Tryon Creek, which is an awesome place for tree hugging too. I’m not big on hiking but I enjoyed today and even suggested to go back. We hiked the perimeter of the park, which is about 3 miles with minor elevations.

We had lunch at Laughing Planet again - our second time in a month. I love that place. It has been a lovely day and we’ll wrap it up with Indian food dinner for Jon. Now it’s time for some quiet time with a book maybe.

I may work in downtown Portland and spend 5 days a week in it...

rollcallbyliam — Sat, 16 Jun 2012 21:17:00 -0700

I may work in downtown Portland and spend 5 days a week in it but I don’t really experience it. So in summer, I tend to allot a few weekends just walking its streets. Liam loves downtown too, because, I think, he spends most of his time in the east side.

Today we walked streets both of us hadn’t been on and ate our meals of choices from food carts. We spent a good hour at Director Park where he basked in the fountain, and of course we didn’t have extra clothes because getting wet in fountains is not always in the itinerary. That explains why he was the only kid in his underwear. He even took his underwear off at some point.

It was a beautiful, warm day at 30C. Perfect for everything.

We like visiting neighborhoods and this weekend it was Pearl...

rollcallbyliam — Sun, 03 Jun 2012 19:26:00 -0700

We like visiting neighborhoods and this weekend it was Pearl District. We’ve all been there before but not for spending hours just to hang out. I wish we walked around some more to explore the urban neighborhood. Liam spent a long time playing in the Jamison Square Park’s fountain. He got his clothes wet and we had no extra set of clothes with us. Conveniently, there was a kids clothes shop across the street and I left $46 later with a pair of corduroy and long-sleeved striped top. It was reminiscent of some parts of Makati (where I grew up in Manila), and surprisingly quiet for a downtown neighborhood. I think the only striking difference is the combination of new and refurbished buildings, and industrial warehouses that are either converted or left as-is beautifully. I want to live there but real estate prices are crazy! I’m not after living in a plot of land—been there, done that—so maybe one day we could find ourselves living in the Pearl. For now I think it’s going to be a nice ‘hood to visit for a few hours.

Any mom loves taking photos of their kids and I’m not any...

rollcallbyliam — Sun, 27 May 2012 19:57:12 -0700

Any mom loves taking photos of their kids and I’m not any different. Liam can be a great subject because he does not like to pose, nor do I want him to. There’s so much that I get from just capturing his moments.

I love county fairs. I used to wonder what happened to the...

rollcallbyliam — Sun, 27 May 2012 17:21:34 -0700

I love county fairs. I used to wonder what happened to the traveling feria in Manila. I enjoyed the vibe and got excited. It must’ve not had enough because I still get excited about fairs. I get the advantage of having a kid too — a legitimate reason to spend hours at fairs. Liam and I went to the Multnomah County Fair at Oaks Park and spent 5 solid hours there! Fairs are opportune times for very unhealthy food - curly fries, corn dogs, swirly ice cream, Italian ice cones, and elephant ears (that didn’t entice us this time).

I love summer. :)

Work was not being very fun because I can’t seem to...

rollcallbyliam — Thu, 03 May 2012 23:17:59 -0700

Work was not being very fun because I can’t seem to measure up to my standards. I had been worrying so much about what I wasn’t accomplishing that I failed to realize that others weren’t accomplishing their parts that caused majority of my delay. Yet, nobody was really complaining about my delay except for myself. I had a moment of clarity that got me thinking that I was the only one on that boat, so why bother? Not that I’ve stopped caring, I just chose not to stress it.

Anyway, their delay will take at least 2 weeks to rectify which gives me plenty of time to catch up, except for the fact that I’ll be playing project manager half the time while the real guy is on holiday (in Hawai’i!!!)…which I’m not looking forward to. Who wants to be a PM? Not me. It also annoyed me that one co-worker teased that I was prolific and another said that I was 1 month ahead. I still don’t know why their comments annoyed me.

I didn’t realize that I was partly managing a small group of BAs either. It’s the kind of thing that creeps in on you without you realizing it, then the folks tell you that you’re doing it. So these changes in work direction got me delayed in my own pieces of things to do. Boring stuff, really!

Anyways…

It’s warm and spring and beautiful flowers are everywhere. People are out sitting and eating and sipping their mimosas at brunches. I’m so loving Portland again. I don’t love Portland during winter when it’s all rainy and cold, though today I surprised myself that I hardly got bothered by it. In fact, I haven’t been checking the weather forecasts for at least 3 weeks now.

We went to Cirque du Soleil, a puppet show based on a book (Stellaluna), the Tulip Festival (which I didn’t realize was crazy), and will go to 2 birthday parties in May. We’re planning for more things to do in summer, but things are still up in the air. It’s getting busy and summer could end up crazy. This got me thinking about house work. The house we live in easily gets dirty with a kid and dog that easily drag dirt in and I just realized last week, while sweeping, that I didn’t use to clean so much in our NZ house. Not only was it smaller, but we weren’t living around dense greenery either. So I bit the bullet and got a Neato. I love it, but knowing me I will wait it out to really fall in love with him before I tell the whole world about how crazy I am about him. Yes, Liam and I decided that he was a boy.

If there’s one thing that I can’t relax about, it’s not having a clean living space. So I’m hoping a robot will do a good chunk of floor cleaning that easily takes 2 hours of my time in the weekend. Yes, 2 hours just to make sure every nook and cranny is free of dust and other things. We will purge some more things, in fact we’ve already identified items that will disappear before summer comes. I may have a stark house, but I really can’t imagine myself living in a stuffed place. I’m not afraid of space. I think I always equate clean spaces with clear minds, and that’s why I’m very attracted to zen spaces and minimalism.

Since Tuesday, I’ve started breathing again. I hardly feel any anxiety over missed self-imposed deadline. I’m eating well and my mental space has had some clarity that was missing for a couple of months. It’ll help with putting together a presentation for board members that that PM was supposed to do. Great.

Boy, I’m knackered. All of my mental energy was spent...

rollcallbyliam — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 01:00:00 -0700

View of south west Portland from OHSU

Washington Park

Boy, I’m knackered. All of my mental energy was spent today that by the time I got home, I couldn’t even hold a decent conversation with my family. The worse part is that it’s only Monday.

I was thinking that it could be due to my self-imposed deadlines. Things need to be done and I put it upon myself to complete a task within a day. A task is really not just a straightforward and simple task - it usually involves time to think and time to execute. I’m not even a developer anymore! This is the curse of a knowledge worker I think. Seriously, 8 hours of thinking, analyzing, streamlining, planning, on top of distraction from co-workers who talk in the office like it’s their living room, I’m spent. I barely enjoyed the sun today. Today was the first time I went to work without a jacket. So light!

So let’s see how this week turns out. I’m hoping for a relaxing weekend because this last one was full on. I need a holiday!

Married for 4 years, have been together for 8 and you know,...

rollcallbyliam — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 19:53:00 -0700

Married for 4 years, have been together for 8 and you know, things really evolve. We, as individuals, evolved; our family size grew; our place of living has changed a few times; all in 8 years.

That morning, Liam and Jon surprised me with tulips and pink roses. Jon took me to the Ringside Fish House that I thought was a casual place, hence my very casual outfit that was a bit out of place there. The movie plan was scrapped to instead hang out at the Governer’s Park followed by more drinks and pies at Savoy Tavern. In fact, the pies led us to its source at Random Order that you MUST check out.

It was fun to reminisce about what took place in our lives—what took us to Portland, where we’ve been, who we’ve met, that sort of thing. Despite the issues, which are mostly about clashing personalities and preferences and unmet expectations, we still have fun though not as often as we did before Liam.

And you know, as we sipped wine with the sun setting on dry Portland (we got lucky that night), we couldn’t help but feel grateful that we are still together. I’m still with the man I married. We are aware of who we truly are as individuals and that we are making it work all the time. It’s not always fun and I’m going to be straight that we’ve had some truly sad days while asking ourselves what the hell we’ve been doing. You just have to be honest about what you truly want and what can make you happy. It also takes plenty of growing up to accept that your wants and needs can be put in the back burner for maybe a while. Sometimes a long while. And we wake up the next day or two, refreshed by a fun activity with Liam or from watching a TV show we both like or laughed at a joke we both thought was funny, and then it’s not so bad. Life is good again, it has always been good. It isn’t easy to see it that way all the time though. But, we are aware how fragile things can get and how much self-analysis is involved when things go bad.

What I also realized was that the longer I’m married and the older I get, love is too grand for words. It’s very encompassing, it’s evolving and it’s transcending. You can define it something today, and define it another tomorrow. I also learned so much in the past 8 years. Of course I changed. Life calls you for it. Some parts of my personality got heightened because I now live a different life. It’s true that you will not know someone until you lived with them, but it also applies to knowing yourself.

Six weeks of full house - what a change to suddenly have the...

rollcallbyliam — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 22:52:06 -0700

Six weeks of full house - what a change to suddenly have the house back to ourselves again. It feels a bit empty and then there’s a welcoming tone to it. I’m still sort of processing it.

Nothing new about work either, it’s still busy and I think I will take my personal laptop to work to keep my notes with me all the time. I also want to minimize my use of paper. I don’t like paper everywhere on my work surface. I want to keep my desk as clear as possible. I also noticed that my approach on problem solving and analyzing have improved. My way of attacking a problem changed a bit. Wow. I’m so proud of myself. :)

Summer’s coming soon and there will be plenty of things to do, I’m sure. It’s starting now - with shows to watch, events to go to, road trips in Oregon to plan and hopefully make. We went to the Lego exhibit at OMSI, the Portland Saturday Market, went a bit around town, shopping at the mall (which I don’t do often), and hung out with family.

I’m just happy that it’s warm nowadays, almost. I don’t find myself annoyed at Portland rain because I know that summer is close. I finally purchased my first gumboots here! They’re semi-decent so that I can take them to work and get away with wearing them all day if I want to. :)

I’ve been meaning to update but haven’t had the time...

rollcallbyliam — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 13:13:45 -0700

I’ve been meaning to update but haven’t had the time and motivation, which I know are not mutually inclusive. :)

Valentine’s was a sweet day! I promised myself to surprise Jon a bit more this year and I started with flowers! He received an arrangement of orchids, and got serenaded by a singing telegram group and a box of cupcakes. At the end of day, I saw a beautiful set of white roses sitting on Liam’s table in the living room. The boy also gave us a card. A lady at Whole Foods gave Liam a pink rose that he hasn’t gotten rid of yet.

My sister and her husband are here on holiday for 3 weeks. We all went to Mt. Hood for some snow fun, though I’m suffering from whiplash after I collided with a 6’5” man tubing down a hill. Ugh. Times like this when I worry about my ever delicate bones and think about aging.

Portland had had some nice days but mostly just wet and cold. I’ve come to realize that it affects me when I compare the weather here with East Coast’s. I have stopped doing it for a while now, though not sure why I would knowing it’s really great there right now! I can’t complain really because it was a mild winter.

"I’m too tired to talk, Mama."

rollcallbyliam — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 10:00:05 -0800

“I’m too tired to talk, Mama.” - Liam, 4. Monday morning on our way to school. He...

Four seems so much older than 3. It’s an age that Jon and...

rollcallbyliam — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 18:55:00 -0800

Four seems so much older than 3.

It’s an age that Jon and I seem to grapple with. Our Liam is a year older, and in another year he will be in Kindergarten. This was the age when I started having memories that stuck. Being mindful of our words and actions has started to bear more weight upon us. Another phase of parenting.

We thought it was time to do a celebration not in the confines of our home or his school. We have kept it simple in his first 3 years, but because he’s now more aware of birthdays and the associated fun (and presents) that come with it, we decided to do something “extravagant”. Not every year, kid. The kids had fun with their parents on the ice. I was so surprised to see Liam skating on his own after half an hour of lessons. Aah, the joys of being young.

But on his birthday, Monday, we had cupcakes and parfait for afternoon snack. His friends sang to him in English and Spanish. Being around him and his friends reminded me how much of a little boy he is, and how much joy it brings to him to celebrate with his school friends. He told us that he really appreciated that his friends sang to him and greeted him on his birthday.

Happy birthday, Darling. We love you.

Work life has gotten busy for me. When work gets busy,...

rollcallbyliam — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 20:59:00 -0800

Work life has gotten busy for me. When work gets busy, therefore occupying a lot of mental space, I’m stretched out thin by about 8pm when home life starts winding down. From that hour until bed time, I owe it to myself to carve time for lounging with Jon or doing small mental plans for meals, to check my personal to-dos, spend a few minutes thinking about the coming weekend/weekends for family fun.

I stopped bringing my work home a long time ago. Going on 6 years in fact. Despite being given an option to access my work computer from home, I have not done so and I don’t plan to. I don’t want to make my work email accessible because as soon as I do, that would fill my head with anticipated work. From that moment until I get to work, I run the risk of not giving my full attention to what happens in between. What’s the point of having quantity of time without attention?

Yet, despite all of that my work crept a bit into my home life when I printed a document I wrote to review because I ran out of time in the office. Though it took less than 15 minutes to do it, that was not a good sign.

While in the middle of all that busy work life, there was a birthday party to organize, weekends to enjoy (especially with longer daylight hours and warmer temps!), and TV series to catch up on. I’ve been giving Liam 5 hours straight a day in the weekend only with me, while Jon relaxes for a few hours doing laundry and random house work (oxymoron I know but that’s relaxation for us now). Once we’re home, Daddy takes over and I do my bit of house work. We try to chill on Sundays at home, but that tends to fail as we approach summer.

Jon took me to my first NBA game. We were close to the court, enough to see the players’ faces clearly. I enjoyed it, but I could’ve enjoyed it more had the Blazers played against a competitive team. I don’t know about other teams but Portlanders enjoy free chalupas when the Blazers score 100 points.

We’ve been following Downton Abbey, Alcatraz, Once Upon A Time and Grimm. We got rid of cable after trying it again for a few months. It just doesn’t work for us anymore, so we’re back on Netflix and Hulu. In the midst of that, there are Words with Friends, Scramble with Friends, Instagram, Facebook and personal emails that suck time. Oh well.

Liam will be 4 on Monday and he has really grown. There’s so much of him that developed too fast and he has turned into a little boy who discusses with us, gives his opinions, and gets more involved with activities like cooking. One night when I checked on him before going to bed, in the dark I thought I was looking at him as a baby. I sat on his bed to hold on to that odd visual we get in darkness. I admit, I truly miss the baby years although each year was unique and brought our family to new and different levels of fun. Sometimes Jon and I wonder why and how we got lucky to have such an offspring. Oh, his art work was featured on What My Kids’ Art Says.

The half-dance-half-gym class is not working for Liam. Sadly, we’re paid for February but I started looking elsewhere nonetheless. We managed to find him a suitable dance class at another place because the one that he goes to doesn’t have spots for other classes for his age group. He doesn’t like being the only boy in the class where all girls wear pink tutus. We think he feels out of place and that his interests are trumped by the majority. I tried to encourage him by saying that I’ll speak to his instructor about introducing different song genres, like New Wave that he loves so much, but he said that it wouldn’t make a difference. Seriously he did! He’s so grown up it makes me want to cry. The new place is very close to home. I look forward to taking him there on bikes with Jon.

Something in me clicked a month ago about eating less meat. As of late, my work week meals consist of coffee, baby carrots, celery sticks, blueberries or some other fruit, and maybe a sandwich. I still have desserts after dinner, though not religiously, but I feel less puffy nowadays. I may take up running again and include Beckett so that he can get his regular exercise. We’ll see if I get some traction on that.

I guess my point is that there’s always so much to do!

There comes a point in early parenthood when you ask yourself:...

rollcallbyliam — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 22:25:00 -0800

There comes a point in early parenthood when you ask yourself: What are we going to do with all my kid’s art? We’ve kept some from his infant-toddler days and threw a lot. There has been a bit of accumulation again and before I start with my purging, we decided to have an art exhibit. Liam wouldn’t sell though! We invited Desi and Julian to come see it, but what was entertaining was when he talked about his inspiration for each piece of work.

Liam also started with his half-dance-half-gym class this month. I was a bit surprised that he was the only boy and the girls were all wearing pink leotards and tutus. They study basic dance moves, rhythm, and gym. We decided to try the class because he enjoys dancing, but also getting physical at gym. He enjoyed his previous class that was purely gym but he started getting bored towards Christmas.

Well, I have to share Portland weather now.

If there’s anything that makes me not like Portland, it’s the rain. As I write this, it has rained almost non-stop since 3 days ago. I beat myself up for not buying gumboots when they were on sale during holidays. I knew this was coming. I’ve made mental notes to get a pair and a really, really good umbrella—the kind that can somehow make its way through a gusty day.

I was warned about rain here. The weather here doesn’t do a let’s-dump-all-this-rain-for-2-hours-to-get-done-with-it. I call it a leak in the sky. It just keeps dripping, like towards the end of a big dump of rain (you know what I’m talking about tropical folks), except it doesn’t really end…ha, at least not for hours. I have noticed people wear fancy gumboots here to work. Some don’t even bother switching to dress shoes. I resisted that for a while, but it’s so sensible that my practicality is reigned in.

Before the rain, there was some lovely snow fall and even way before that was a series of sunny days. The night snow fell and accumulated, Jon and I ran outside to have fun in it. I snapped pictures and tasted snow for the first time. We kept saying how unfortunate it was that Liam missed it. The sky had a luminescent color, which caught my attention as we headed to bed (hence running out to play). I was disappointed to wake up to the beginning of the rain that destroyed the beautiful white scenery all around. Nonetheless, he still played in the slushy snow in the morning. I can’t wait for spring really.

One morning when Liam and I wanted to go out for breakfast, we...

rollcallbyliam — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 14:54:00 -0800

One morning when Liam and I wanted to go out for breakfast, we discovered a Scandinavian restaurant, Broder, that’s 3 blocks away from our house. He loves their Aebleskiver (pancakes shaped into balls), so much so that he remembered the restaurant’s name. We went there again with Desi on New Year’s Eve. They were very accommodating to our vegan lady company. :) It was a great find and I can’t wait to dine there again with my sister (Vanessa) and her Danish husband (Kim) in March when they come visit.

I can’t believe it’s already the middle of January!

Since having Liam, January has been about a first-half recovering from the holidays and a second-half preparing for Liam’s birthday. There really isn’t much to prepare, but I like to plan in advance. We had thought of many ideas as early as November. We only have 1 kid, so I have this self-imposed guilt/pressure to give him the best that we could in all aspects. Believe me when I say that I’m not planning an O.T.T. party.

He’s now in the age that he recognizes birthday parties as fun times spent with friends outside of school. I was disappointed that we couldn’t make it to the party of one of his close friends in December because of our visit to grandpa, but that was soon followed by a joint celebration of another friend and his brother.

His little birthday party is looking more solid now. I’m not giving any details yet but it will involve pizzas, cake, and ice.

It’s about time I introduce Beckett. We adopted him from a...

rollcallbyliam — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 20:22:00 -0800

It’s about time I introduce Beckett. We adopted him from a second-chance organization that rescues dogs from high-kill shelters. Beckett was from California. He was found walking aimlessly and was taken to the pound. The owners were notified but they couldn’t afford to pay the penalty fee. I haven’t checked how much that fee is, but we paid nearly $100 for Sam.

Liam had been mentioning that we didn’t have a dog yet. Jon and I thought that Christmas may be a good time to adopt one and at the same time give Liam a pet as present. Nonetheless, we visited the Oregon Humane Society to check out a couple of pups we liked on their website, but they turned out either too energetic or with health issues.

Beckett was also an online find. We saw him one day and brought him home. It took a while to get the dynamic we now have because he was wary about Liam. Eventually, they learned how to work with each other and now like hanging out. Becs is a calm dog. His personality fits our lifestyle and is very sweet.

I struggled a bit to call him in his name because I had the tendency to call him Sam (despite having given him away 2 years ago!). In the short time we’ve had him, he managed to escape from the backyard once without us realizing. Jon found him being carried around by a woman on a busy street. That reminds me, I have to update his microchip information.

Sometimes I wonder why we got a dog because they are responsibility too. There are dog food, shots and grooming to add to our expenses. I’m not there yet, the loving-my-dog-a-lot part, but I’m on my way I think.